I have a message for this bloke who has a birthday today, Friday the 13th – sucked in you loser.

The message is for me. I'm the loser.

I’m a year older today, and I’m the loser for having a birthday on such an unlucky day as Friday the 13th, because apparently it's Western superstition.

Screw Western superstition. I reckon Friday the 13th of December is a pretty sick day.

For starters, check out this list of famous people I share a birthday with: 

1. Taylor Swift

There’s more, but I don't really care about the others.

Tay Tay actually text me for our birthday back in 2015. 

Check it:

For those wondering, she actually did write her next song about me, but it was never produced or released.

The song was called, "My Kelly-fornia Fling," and it was about the weekend we stayed in the 'Chemosphere House' in Los Angeles and had really hot...

Chicken wings.

And really steamy...

Dim sims.

And...

Wait... maybe I dreamt all of that.

There sure is a fine line between fact and fiction.

And as I get older, more 'fine lines' are appearing on my face.

Happy 13-day to you, Matthew. You ageing, wrinkly, intrapersonal communicating loser!

Footnote: I've actually had a couple of people ask me how old I am today.

Answer: I'm thirty... one. Yeah, 31. Still heaps young in my early 30's y'know. And not at all going to take a lie detector test to prove it.